One may consider that a ludicrous title for a post, but I have my reasons, stay with me. The Princess and I ventured four hours to coastal North Carolina in search of the much coveted prom dress that is like no other. For those with teenage daughters that have yet to endure this past-time, I warn you it is not for the faint of heart. Be certain to review your Seven Deadly Sins before embarking on your trip. For your reference, I submit the following:
SLOTH: Two weeks before prom The Princess advises that she has finally decided, she will definitely attend the gala.
PRIDE: The feeling of arrogance you will have when she slides in to the two hundredth dress that makes her look like a princess.
ENVY: Refer to pride with a twist. You have long since passed the size the light of your life just effortlessly zipped up.
GREED: Observations made of other teenagers in the dressing room who do not even blink when their mothers inform them the dress they have fell in love with is a mere $856.
LUST: Why you must explain to The Princess that it may be a bit inappropriate to show up to prom with a dress laced up to your pelvic bone.
WRATH: What the shop attendant encounters from The Queen when she says “if you ask my opinion, the halter dress with laces is entirely age appropriate”. She went on to include that The Princess would most definitely be able to shake her hooters and bounce the junk in her trunk! Note: The Queen responds “do you have children”? No, enough said.
GLUTTONY: Remind The Princess when she wants that 1/2lb of fudge that perhaps she might choose the frozen yogurt. In a totally loving way, you highlight that currently she must exhale all the breath from her body in order to continue to fit in to the form fitting sequin gown that you just purchased.
A few more tips:
- When The King makes light of your harrowing four day retail experience that was most definitely not retail therapy, tell him:
THIS IS HER PROM DATE
- After The King receives treatment in the Coronary Care Unit, give him reason to live by informing him the photo of the date was fib and the entire prom experience only set him back $131.00.
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