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Archive for the ‘COURTING THE PRINCESS’ Category

The Princess, who believes I know nothing, understand nothing and possess an IQ lower than a turtle actually surprised me during the Christmas holidays by asking for my advice with her love interest at the time.  We will call him “Stupid Boy” as not to confuse him with the current Duke of Honda. 

Apparently rumors abound at high school that Stupid Boy was courting another fair maiden right under The Princess’s nose.  Her question to The Wise Queen (me):  “Mom, all my friends are reporting Stupid Boy is making time with another girl; he says he would never do that and I should trust him … who do I believe?”  I nearly passed out in my own kitchen, did this mini-adult who thinks I was born in the Stone Age actually ask for my opinion?

I will admit terror struck in my heart, I had longed for her advice requests in the past.  What if I messed this one up?  My chosen profession in Human Resources had prepared me for this day.  I resisted the urge to squash Stupid Boy in The Princess’s mind and gave her politically correct options combined with a woman’s common sense.

MY ADVICE:  Since you have consulted Stupid Boy for his response then consider the source and motivation of the rumors, ask yourself what is your gut telling you and if it looks like a duck, walks like duck and quacks like a duck….well, you get the idea.  By the way, Stupid Boy walked in our front door at that precise moment, I smiled innocently, The Princess did not.

If nothing else, The Princess has mastered networking in your environment. She has more contacts than political lobbyist in Washington, all who are willing to call her with the latest tidbit of information on AS HIGH SCHOOL TURNS and the felonious deeds of  Stupid Boy.  The Princess’s cell phone vibrated continuously one evening, apparently a major undercover operation was underway at the High School with The Princess orchestrating from a local restaurant.  Stupid Boy was located at Christmas play with fair maiden in question,  aforementioned network was covering his actions with cell phone cameras, text messages and observation.  Who would have ever thought modern technology would assist a teenage girl in a life lesson?

The Princess arrived at the Christmas play (she did not have the Christmas spirit).  She was secreted into the building and back stage by network, akin to Navy Seals entering a hostile nation.  Stupid Boy was caught in the act and banished to a foreign land never to be heard from again.

Although she did not ponder upon my sage, wise, intelligent advice very long; she did find her own solution to her problem. Her advice: see it with your own eyes Mom, that will do it everytime!

The King believes Stupid Boy should be sent to gallows for daring to fool his Princess in this shameless manner and all males, not of the Ponderosa lineage, should be obilerated from the earth until his Princess has graduated from college.

Note to the Duke of Honda (current love interest of The Princess):   

You may want to committ to memory logistical and tactical mistakes made by aforementioned “Stupid Boy” for reference, the NETWORK is always available for impromptu sting operations.

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